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Archive

12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004

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05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009

I SHALL BE NICE .
IM SORRY.


YAY. today is the day:D:D:D yay i'm so happy. after WEEKS AND WEEKS of waiting. IM FINALLY GETTING BACK MY E65. FINALLYY. im damn sick of using my bro's sony. LAG LIKE SHIT MAN. ohwells. SAY BYE TO IT! :D

e65 is LOVE! <3 style="font-style: italic;">I NEED TO GO SHOPPING. BADLY!

TODAY IS LOVE. JAY CHOU = SHUAI. esp when he played the piano. OMG LA. -faints. heh (:

okay IOC IOC IOC IOC. - SCREAMS AND DROP DEAD

thanks for being there, thanks for caring, thanks for all that you've done

OH. to those people who don't like what i type. THEN DON'T READ MY BLOG LA. don't like still read. after you read you complain. Why waste your time and energy. LAME.

- don't blame me for being bitchy. i'm suffering from miss boyfriend miss tk illness.

久未放晴的天 空
依旧留着你的笑 容
哭过
却无法掩埋歉疚
风筝在阴天搁浅
想念还在等待救援
我拉着线
复习你给的温柔
曝晒在一旁的寂寞
笑我给不起承诺
怎麽会怎麽会
你竟原谅了我

我只能永远读着对白
读着我给 你的伤害
我原谅不了我
就请你当作我 已不在
我睁开双眼
看着空白
忘记你对我的 期待
读完了依赖
我很快就离开

the reason why you say i was emo this afternoon. haha

SIANNZXZZXZX.

gah gah

Last night was horrible. All of a sudden. i was feeling really sad. i couldnt sleep. Toss and turn, Toss and turn. i finally slept at 2+.

OHWELLS. study study. i shall not let the mood affect me.

CASS REMAINS HAPPY. so should you(:

AND I HATE MY NEW FRINGE.



Second post for the day. GAH

i was looking at some of my secondary school girlfriends' friendster. i miss them ALOT . All those girl fun, girl talk, camwhoring. RAHH. it's practically driving me mad. i miss all those fun. ohwell, poly culture is too different.

BOO

Phone call.

-PHONE VIBRATES.
i look at the caller. UNKNOWN. and i answered the phone

me: Hello?
Caller: Hi. Its me (with a strong accent)
me: Huh. Who are you?
Caller: Its ME you moron.
me: thinks hard OHHH! <3

well well, my surprise phone call from baby!! love love you darling(:
and that silly boy has an accent now. haha. sounds dumb but. STILL AS CUTE!
*muacks!* love love you ((:


cant wait for him to come back. ONE MORE WEEK! ((((((:



ACHE ACHE.

My weak body has given in to all the stress/bacteria/virus/late nights. GAH whatever. Woke up this morning with a horrible sorethroat. and the usual headache. SIANS. During RWP my whole body was DAMN PAIN. aching all over. and it was so cold la. stupid rainy weather + aircon = FREEZING. wearing one jacket doesnt help. haha. i wore Rc's jacket with my jacket on when we were studying for our Math test at the library's open area. ohwell. i don't like this feeling. sucks like shit. Now my whole body is aching. the joints especially. GAHHH.

baby hurry come back. ):

YAY. finally got to see godwin. only managed to talk to him like once yesterday. then today he was online again using lester's account so we webcam-ed(: good to know he's doing well there. RAHH. lucky him. get to enjoy whole i suffer here. BOO.

okay. cppb quiz tml and math quiz on thurs. STUDY TIME!

LOVE LOVE LOVE (:



Hello all. i've been reading my friends blogs and stuff. i realise we are all undergoing some kind of cannot-adapt-to-poly-life kinda thing. Jc friends seem like they're doing fine. but they're having those promos soon so, good luck yea(:

Right after i blogged about poly, i chatted with katherine for a while. Seems like i'm not the only one facing some culture shock problem. She is too. I told a close friend of mine about my problems in poly. well , if you wondering if its you. yes you. Cause i only told you about it(:

I did wonder if poly was the right choice for me. And yes it is. Cause there's no way i'll go to jc and undergo those stress. I'm not trying to say poly is very relaxing. it's actually very very stressful. maybe to some, it's not. But to me, it is.

My second brother thinks poly is a very relaxing place. He said poly can play play play then chiong. Hell no. not when there're test almost everyweek. To those we just want a pass or whatever, maybe poly is relaxing cos most have the play play attitude. I'm not trying to say i want to be a perfectionist. But because I know the consequences of not studying hard, I made up my mind few months ago that I must study hard in poly and get good grades.

Studying becomes a habit. My classmates (most of them), would know that i'll stay in school everyday without fail till late to study. This has become a habit. Just last week, i went out. Felt so weird leaving school so early.

Call me a nerd whatsoever. I stay in school cos of several reasons.
- i don't want to take a train home when it's so packed of students / working class people. i hate it. whenever i enter a train with so many people. I just feel so weird, so irritated. So not me.
- I cant study at home. Home isn't a place for me to study. i reach home, i'll sleep. But i'm trying to change that.
- there isn't as much distractions in school than at home.
- A lot of time is wasted travelling to school and back home. so might as well stay in school.

After a few months, i finally understand why my third brother said it's okay if you're a loner in poly. what matters is your grades. That's because he knows the importance of studying. and studying hard. After 3 years of mugging, he got second in his course. And that inspired me to do well.

When i was younger, i was rather hardworking. Got into secondary school and all i did was play. Didnt score good grades but that's okay. I didnt regret not studying because I made close friends, and very very wonderful memories.

I stepped into Tk in 2003 and i thought i would regret it. And now, I don't. I thought going to a girls school was so yucky cos I was very tomboy last time. But my third brother convinced me. TilL now, i still rememebered what he told me when i was in pri 6. Thanks to me, I enjoyed my secondary school life. Not regreting a single bit of it. Those bad results? It's not too late. I believe I can carry on from here.

SOARING TO GREATER HEIGHTS!

p.s: i really miss my secondary school friends. The culture, the closeness, everything. and those bitching.

Another usual day. Still having the dumb headache. and i'm feeling emo.


Practicals are finally over. it's such a joy, such a sorrow.
joy cos we won't have to stay in school till so late. and wear long pants and shoes to school. esp when the dumb weather is so hot.
sorrow cos it's a joy having practicals. esp cppb and bio. love the practs. cppb practs are always filled with laughter (konglingteck's). oh man. i love this lecturer. the one and only lecturer who speaks to me in french. haha. bio practs rock cos T11 is so cool =D airconditioned and it feels like a hospital. and I feel like a doctor whenever i walk into the 3rd level with my labcoat on. haha. love the place.

speaking about french, i've been missing french lessons. and that's bad. well i thought of withdrawing. really don't want to let it pull down my gpa. i think i missed like 4 lessons already. RAH. and when i told my mum i wanna withdraw, she sounded so disappointed. and because of that i cried on the spot. i'm sorry to disappoint you ma. SO. i've decided. i think i'll go back to french. and study really really hard. thats means i gotta stay in school for almost 3 hours doing nothing cos friday lessons start at 5. zz. and we end at 2. ohwelll. for good grades (:

i was reading the newspaper this morning and i realise i wanna read harry potter badly. lol.
okay thats random.

i'm getting bored of my blog cos i've been using this template for a long long time. since last year i guess. tried searching for new skins but they didnt really suit me. i promise i'll try to come up witha new one after sem exams. which is 2 weeks away =S GAHHH.

sem exams are 2 weeks away and there's so much to study. there's engine math and cppb quizes next week, ioc bio and excel ica the following. after that its sem exams already. RAH. chem's the first paper and bio is the last. THANKGOD. i have more time to memorise the silly bio stuffs.
cppb still scares me cos i don't understand a shit.
i don't understand a thing abt forces and the next few chapters for math. RAH. yes the dumb physics part. BOOHOO.

Poly changes me
for good and for bad.
for good: im getting hardworking. hahaa.
for bad: i don't want to talk about it.

there are many times i feel like a bitch in poly sometimes. people are different, they come from different secondary schools, have different culture and thinking. not as open as TK. we don't can't go around greeting people by hugging/kissing them. the on-lookers get disgusted. and to them you're a bitch / slut.

for this i miss TK. i miss atiqah and yiying. and the rest of the peeps. i remember those times when we (atiqah and i) never fail to hug each other whenever we see each other in school. even though it's the 5th time seeing or something. and yes i miss those kisses from my darling sista. i miss crapping with her, talking and joking like theres no tml. she spices up boring bowling trainings and tournaments. those times when we could still go support our seniors, screaming our lungs out till our voices change. haha. i really miss that. haven been screaming and cheering for a long time. well, i guess thats a tk thing; screaming and cheering at the top of our voices. haha

Yiying, my classmate from sec 1 to sec 4. remembering those times when we planned to do many things together. this silly girl i'll never forget as she stood by me whenever i needed someone. the one who brings no stationery to school, took my penknife in sec 2, lent me her finger to bite and her shoulder to cry on. not forgetting taking really really gay neoprints everytime i drag her into the machine. heh.

ATIQAH, YIYING. I LOVE YOU.

i must remind myself that i'm in poly now. a mixed school.
not longer tk. the one where you can be who you really are.

ohwell. poly kinda suckss... ):

k i need a hair cut. my brother says its getting thicker.

okay. study time. TOODLESSS.

sec 4 bowling farewell party
bowling nationals 2006
Sea of greeeen
i miss this placeyiying, please don't kill me. haha (:

my brother just asked me what i want for my birthday. he said its just 3 months away. LOL.

kor i know you read my blog. you say you come to my blog daily. thankyou for being such a supporter fan. haha.

anyway, i want good grades and to be trouble-free.
don't be surprised. i know your lil sister is growing up (:
let me think through carefully, then i'll tell you what i want.
i promise i'll try to not let it be something too expensive =D

btw nick, thanks for your advice. and whatever you told me, sort of make me forget my problems. thanks(:

Labels: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. in advance. heh

my head spins so badly i feel as if i cna just faint anytime.

and im feeling pain all over.

this sucks.

everything sucks.

Labels: and i think i suck too

I don't know whats wrong with me. my head is spinning. spin spin spin. feels as if i just turn 1000000000000000 rounds. and i feel like some complete idiot. RAH. my body feels weaker by the day.

- i've been having headache like nobody's business
- this is the 3rd time i'm feeling so spinnyyy
- my rib hurts
- my eyes hurts

RAH. whats happening to me ):

anyway tml will be slack day. 1pm - 3pm only. cool sia. but waste time. zzz

kk all these typing is making me feel worse. off im going. TOODLES

GODWIN IS OFF TO CANADA. rah. and that assss. im NOT HAPPY WITH HIM )): i shall kope what he blogged. RAH.

im gonna miss 1m04!!! hahahaha ill miss soosoo! ill get stuff for you guys yea!

WTH LA ):

AH WHATEVER.

anyway, i did my shopping today. and bought a bag. and another lil bag. yayness (: thanks quan for going with me((:


im hooked onto youtube. i'm like watching it everyday. LOL. sianzzzz. sem exam time table out already. few more weeks. but luckily its only 4 WRITTEN PAPERS. YAYNESS (((((((((((:

okay. time for reports! 3 reports. DAMNNN ):

HELLO. i'm feeling happier so here are the long awaited formal wear pictures(: well, only SOME of them are here. too lazy to post the rest. hahaa. the others are in the 1B24's photobucket(: BUT before the formal wear pictures, here's smth funny. ((:

CREDITS: Funny Junk

FORMAL WEAR PICTURES NOW!














NO WAY IM LENDING MY PHONE TO ANYONE ELSE. CALL ME SELFISH WHATEVER. I TRUSTED YOU. I LEND MY NEW PHONE TO YOU. AND YOU HAD TO DROP IT. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THE PHONE MEANT TO ME?

MAYBE YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH THE PHONE MEANS TO ME COS YOU NEVER HAVE TO SAVE. YOU NEED MONEY, JUST GO TO MUM. YOU DONT NEED TO DO ANYTHING TO GET MONEY. I DONT LIKE YOU

sorry to those i attitude to just now. i'm really really very upset. dont talk to me about my phone or my brother. i swear, i'll just cry.

i'm very very tired.

Physical, Mentally.

Emotionally? i don't know.

i wished i could sleep forever.

I realised my life is pretty boring. reach home when its dark everyday. on the com and go to the usual few websites. BORING. and i haven been going out to shop / watch movie / whatever. lol. no life? blame the stupid stress i get from this silly course i'm taking. and its phase B -- supposed to be more difficult than phase A. i really hope so... (THERE'S PHYICS. DAMNIT)

my results are like dropping. doing slightly worse than the previous time. i'm kinda upset by my bio quiz 2. chem so so la. at least it's an A. and like what travis said, i too think that the requiz was rather unfair. although i improved. ahha.

it was RWP PRESENTATION yesterday. and we had to be dressed in formal wear. THE WHOLE CLASS. it was fun. and, a painful experience. LOL. took lots of pictures((: after ioc yesterday the usuals, xx and i went to watch the transformers together. haha. nice nice. but there were some parts that was so boring i almost fell asleep. LOL.

alrights. off i'm going(:

Okay. i've just finished thesilly IOChem quiz. seriously, i'll be very surprised if i can get 40 and above. 'cause i just started studying yesterday. ahhaa. thats bad you know. ohwell. i'll have a treat if i do get 40 and above so, WISH ME LUCK. hahahaha. i'm not so greedy. even if theres no treat i'll pray to get 40 and above. heh

Sem exams are like a few weeks away. thats so freaking horrible 'cause i've not been really studying. totally sucky. and i realise french is just a waste of my time. yes i do get the silly 4 cca points but im really afraid it'll pull down my gpa. ohwelllll ))):

RWP presentation tml! and this group member of mine THINKS SHE'S SO GREAT. DID SO MUCH WORK. now now, who is the one who sent me pics, edited the ppt, consolidate them, gave ideas to this WHOLEEEEE PROJECT? xiaojia, xixiang and me. YOU? you did nothing. SHEESH. so stop talking like you did ALOT. what did you do? you sent me the references. just this small little part and you took such a longggggg time to send it to me. you were overdue can. KNNNNN. and it's well known that you:
1) are always late
2) never do anything for projects
3) #*^(%%@($%#&@^%

so dont grumble when you are asked to WRITE YOUR PART OF THE SCRIPT. sheesh.
can you believe she apparently wanted US to do the script for her? OMFG. sheeeeshhhhh. i don't know if you're rich or what. BUT. for goodness sake. don't be so spoonfed. or i tell you, i will not hesitate to REMOVE YOUR NAME FROM THE PPT. SHEESh. i pity those who were from her group for the other projects.

okay. i gtg. TOODLESSSS

Chicago - Hard To Say I'm Sorry Lyrics


Everybody needs a little time away
I heard her say
From each other

Even lovers need a holiday
Far away from each other

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to stay

After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to

And after all that's been said and done
You're just a part of me I can't let go

Couldn't stand to be kept away
Just for a day
From your body
Wouldn't want to be swept away
Far away
From the one that I love

Hold me now
It is hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to know
Hold me now
I really want to tell you I'm sorry
I could never let you go

After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to

After all that's been said and done
You're just a part of me I can't let go

After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to

Labels: for you

i was reading xixiang's blog. and yea. i got kinda emo. i thought about what happened the past week in school.

when sch started, i loved it. as time goes by and problems started. i hated it. i hated the people in poly. i hated the guys. i hated the girls. i hated my decision to go to poly. i so so so wanted to go to a jc. actually, all i wanted was to go back to tk. with all the girls. all the sister love. i miss atiqah. i miss yiying. i miss jiayi. i miss cheeri. i miss sophia. i miss chong. damn la. i miss everyone ):

though i was unhappy with sch and everyone, i had xixiang and travis. my 2 siblings. i love them. and not forgetting rong cheng, my papa (: they were there for me. they consoled me. they enlightened me. they cheered me up. and provided lots of tissue paper. HAHA. okay i cannot forget gawin bern and yk. thankyou all of you. even if you guys pissed me off / made me cry. LOL. oh and lexter from 1b23, thanks for your concern(: i'm really fine now. heh

i read trav's, xiang's and kaichuen's(godwin's friend) blog just now. here's some stuff that made me happy.

* And Cass, no matter what happens, your Di and Mei will always have your back okay?
We love you!
:)

the words of cassandra and travis are still fresh in my mind. indeed. i wouldnt bear to leave all my friends. cassandra was the first person i met in poly, she got in the same class as me too! travis's name is just below mine in the class register. how would i bear to leave them all? 3 months (and counting!) friendship .. very valuable indeed.

so i sorted it out. for the sake of my friends and most importantly myself, i shall stay strong and work extra harder for the upcoming test/quiz/sem exam. thank you cassandra for being there for me. love ya! thank you travis for talking to me everyday on train and waking me out. yeah baby. love YOU GUYS =D thanks for not giving up on me ya!

and this, is really meaningful. (from kc's blog)

forgiveness. compassion.
especially towards a person who meant so much. it hurts.

to forgive is to cease the feeling of resentment,anger, sadness. helplessness. of course, who wouldnt be the first to forgive someone of utmost importance in your life. and then, how could one even feel all those about someone they loved before even choosing the path of forgiveness. arent everything supposed to be happy. arent everything supposed to be kept in promise, in sync with each other.

the truth is. it never does. love conquers all. but can it ever conquer your life. when promises fstart to be broken, when things arent as good as it is, when things are withdraw from the relationship, how can one then said the relationship is still at its best? of course, we talk about depositing into the emotional bank account. but what happens when withdrawal exceeds deposit? what happened prior to depositing? doesnt life now seemed more important to the million and one promises that both parties made?

and then majority will start departing. its no more comfort zone. its a war zone. the words that break, the things that done wrongly, the feelings that gone awry. when a relationship fails, it meant there's no more meaning to it. things had gone too far.

but there's where forgiveness comes in. we only have that very life. and mistakes will accumulate as time passes. and that's when we should recognise human errors. the imperfection entails in everyone. to look beyond the doubts. the facade. to look beyond the mistakes. and look at the love that still holds both together. then maybe we will smile alittle happier. to know that beyond those errors, you know that things will finally work out.

because love is not only about whether its magical, special. but its of magical and special and acceptance and forgiving.




godwin, i love you (:

im upset. upset by so many things. i don't wanna say. its too painful. some of these lyrics are whats going through in my mind now. i really want you here.

I had your back
I backed you up
Whatever I did
Was never enough

Just you
You
That's all you ever thought about
You
You
No one matters like you do
What goes around comes around
You should know by now

It's all about take
You took too much
Nothing inside
I'm all used up

I work hard wanting to get the past back
You can still see it as always clearly on my face

The most beautiful thing wasn't the rainy day
It was the eaves that you and I once took shelter under from the rain

The images of our memories
As I'm swinging on the swing
The dream starts to not be sweet

You say gradually let go of love
Then you will walk farther
Why go changing
The time that has already been missed

You use your fingertip
To stop me from saying goodbye
I imagine you by my side
Before I completely lose you

You say gradually let go of love
Then you will walk farther
Perhaps the lot of fate
Only let us meet

Only let us love each other
For this one season of autumn
I only discover after they float down
The fragments of this happiness
How am I going to pick them up?

If you were mine,
I'd be your everything and you'd be the only thing that I would ever need
If you were mine,
I would tell everyone that you are the only one that I could ever want

Ohhh Yeaaa
Everything I dreamed about
Everything that I talked about
One thing I can't live without
I wanna get closer to you
Can't stand being far away

All words I sing about
All that is that I write about
Only thing I wanna hear about
So that I can get closer to you
I know that there is someone else, but he's only thinking of himself
Doesn't make any sense for you to be lonely

Let me be the one to share your hopes and dreams with
You'll never be alone again, cuz' I will hold you endlessly
Please don't be afraid to let your brokenheart guide you
Into these open arms that long to surround you, baby!!

And now I know,
I've already blown more chances
than anyone should ever get.
All I'm asking you
is don't write me off just yet.

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
that you belong with me

you might think
I don't look
but deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you

I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster

you don't know
what you do
everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you met me

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
the way that's true

Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams

The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh, it feels like the first time, every time
I want to spend the whole night in your eyes

Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better

Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here

POST DELETED COS THE PERSON IN QUESTION HAS READ IT (:

Milk Run. 10000+ participants. 8000 community runners. and i was one of the 8000.
4km. we covered it.
it looks long.
but it was kinda short.
smelling nice food from the expensive cafes.
walking, running, joking, talking.
the experience was good.

so many josephians there. so cool. and i think the sec 1s look DAMN CUTE. seriously. LOL

ohwell. i'm disappointed again. but not with the same person. ohwelllllll